A PHOTO BLOG A DAY KEEPS THE UNPRODUCTIVE ANXIETY AT BAY.

I've never been good at keeping a diary or journal consistently, so not sure why I thought that I could be consistent with a blog! It's been close to a year since my last post, when I [SURPRISE!] cheated on my juicing four days in with a bready, cheesy, mushroom-layered pizza. At least it gave me the momentum to continue the last three days and it was the most delicious pizza that I had ever tasted. Fast forward to now. New year, new job, new outlook on life and a bit of stability that I am all too aware can come crashing down at any moment. But one thing that has remained constant in this rollercoaster life is my love for photographing and traveling, so I am hoping to post photos here, ideally every day, but at least consistently. If all goes well, it will give me some structure and encourage me to photograph as much as possible. After all, I live in a playground known as New York City. I dreamed of living here. And now that I'm here I must utilize the never-boring environment backdrop that I have been so graciously given. So let's begin with my 31st bEARThday, January 26, 2015, when the storm of the century was supposed to hit. Disappointment triumphed, but a snow day was proclaimed and we handled that shit like a boss, complete with sledding, diner food and naps, just like a proper snow day should be. Oh, and it was my first time sledding, btw.

MONDAY, JANUARY 26, 2015

SUGAR HILL, HARLEM, NYC

MONDAY, JANUARY 26, 2015

LOWER EAST SIDE, NYC

OMG - I just want PIZZA! [Day Four Juice Fast]

Domino's pizza. Extra cheese and mushrooms. Hot and fresh out of the oven, ughhhh I understand what people mean now when they say they just want to CHEW. I didn't miss it for the first three days, but this is day four and I'm going INSANE.

Okay, so perhaps I'm overexaggerating a bit, but you get the point. I just keep trying to focus on the positive changes that I've already been able to see - skin is clearing up and softer, I've lost 5 1/2 pounds since day one, I have an emense amount of energy; although sadly enough since I'm currently unemployed I've just been sitting up in my room on YouTube or Facebook all day. I'm sure I could have lost a bit more weight if I was moving around more, but I did walk about seven miles yesterday, so that did help. I think today will be my last day of relaxation, as tomorrow I have a production meeting with a few people from Craigslist who are trying to get together and make short films. I expressed interest so I can build my portfolio of still images, as one of my possible career goals is to do still photography for film and television.

So back to juicing! This morning I heeded some advice from YouTubers who juice often and went ahead and made all of my juices for the day, although I may make one more around 8pm if I get hungry. For breakfast I had what is called Winter Crumble, although I did modify it just a bit by adding a handful of raspberries and three spoonfuls of Greek yogurt to the two apples and handful of blackberries. Lunch was called Bright Orange, which was two oranges and four carrots. Dinner, which I'm actually drinking now in the middle of blogging, is called Super Defender and I up'd the ingredients a bit to five carrots, two oranges and a large amount of kale, a juice that is extremely good for immunity, detox and skin. I'm slowly getting used to vegetable juices, although fruit juices are still my favorite.

So I've had a few people that are interested in following my juice fast, as well as possibly beginning one of their own, so I've decided to briefly [I'll try] to give some tips that I have learned thus far, since I believe all of this information should not be included in a diet book for sale. In an age where everything is commodified, health tips should be given freely!

So the first step is deciding which juicer you're going to acquire. I went on Amazon and looked through many reviews and in the end I purchased an Omega8004. Really good juicers are not cheap, I paid $200 for mine [eek!], but the nutritional benefits are well worth it, plus the 15-year warranty sold me. That being said, these juicers, along with most other health benefits, come with privilege, but that doesn't mean that all is lost. Although it does not have the same benefits, you can still use a blender, making sure to puree every piece of fruit and vegetable and it's still way better than eating processed foods.

So what is the difference between eating raw fruits and vegetables compared to juicing? Well the biggest difference is that when you're juicing, your body's digestive system gets a break and it is able to spend the free time cleansing and replenishing itself. This is where water comes in. During juicing one must drink plenty of water, not only to stay hydrated, but to flush out all the bad toxins. I've peed six times today already and my usual frequency is twice a day, maybe three times. Ahh, shush, let's get rid of all taboo topics and bring them to the forefront!

Speaking of taboo topics, there are side effects at the beginning of a juice fast that include headaches, fatigue, flu-like symptoms and yes, diarrhea. These are all normal, so don't think you're doing it wrong, it actually means you're doing it right! For me, I worked in fast food for over six years and had access to all of the free food that I could consume. It was A LOT. And now my body is detoxing to get rid of all those years of processed foods. It's going to be icky.

I try to post whichever juice I'm doing on a particular day, but there are hundreds, maybe thousands of recipes out there and feel free to experiment, although I would try some basic juices just to get started, especially if it's your first time. Also, stay away from having too much fruit juices, the natural sugars are still unhealthy if consumed at a high rate. I have been doing fruit juice for breakfast, fruit/veggie medley for lunch and all veggie juice for dinner, but you should decide what is right for you. I just like the routine, so I know how much of fruits vs. veggies that I'm consuming.

I also recommend keeping a journal or a blog/vlog. Put your starting weight and measurements down and document how you feel each day. For inspiration, you can check out the womyn that got me started here, as well as a recent vlog that I've come across that I think may be a little more beneficial. You can find her here. For my recipes I purchased The Big Book of Juices, which you can find by clicking the link.

If you have any questions, please ask! I am not a professional and as I stated, I'm only on day four of my very first juice fast, so please do a bit of your own research before getting started. Hopefully these will get you started. Peace, love and light.

Life and Vegetables [Day Two Juice Fast]

So it seems as if whenever I have somewhat of a grasp on life, everything turns upside down and the universe just laughs at me. It has proven quite difficult to find the perfect balance between busyness and laziness; either I have so much on my plate and all I want to do is rest or all I'm doing is resting and am anxious to get out into the world. Right now, I'm doing a lot of nothing. However, a thought just occured to me - perhaps I am being granted rest now to prepare for the busyness that is yet to come. All I know is that I want to feel at least a hint of stabilzation, I'm so tired of feeling out of control of it all! I have finally settled down indoors and although summer is coming up, I do not want to go back to living on the streets. It had its fun moments, but many of my comrades have gone on to other states and I would not feel comfortable out there any longer. I am having quite a bit of anxiety when it comes to how I'm going to pay for June's rent and I am adamant that I am returning to Cuba this summer. I just don't know where to go from here. I wish there were more outlets for people in this situation, who want to start their own business or who are willing to work, but lack many skills. I wish there were more people willing to teach different programs and life skills free of charge, but everything nowadays is commodified and it is quite overwhelming. The only skill I have is customer service and after 14 years on that path, I am wanting to change direction, but how? I suppose I'll just let life take its course. There's just so much that I want to do and lack the ability without funding.

On the upside of life, juicing is going very well! This morning I had a smoothie for breakfast which consisted of juicing six strawberries and one apple and then putting the juice in the blender with one banana and two spoonfuls of Greek yogurt. It was the best one that I've had yet and cannot wait to have another smoothie. For lunch I had a juice that consisted of one cucumber and two apples and for dinner I had three carrots, two celery sticks, two tomatoes and what should have been 1/2 of a lime, but I got cheap at the store and bought lime juice. This is not recommended, as the lime juice is from concentrate and contains preservatives, so the juice wasn't actually as healthy as it could have been. But I know for next time.

I will try to post here about all of the juices I make throughout the day and provide Instagram pictures as much as possible. Today I captured breakfast and dinner [pre-juice]. Until the next post... Peace, love & photography.

Resurrection Day - For My Blog! [Day One Juice Fast]

Wow. Two years since my last post. It doesn't seem like that long. So much has changed, yet so much remains the same. The world isn't getting any better; in fact, it keeps getting worse. Personally I have been terminated from Disney for lack of hours, worked seven months at the Intrepid Sea, Air and Space Museum and not asked to return and most recently, worked four months at the American Museum of Natural History before being terminated for "insubordination," as my managers wanted the employees to operate the positions of two to three people while they occupied their time not working and I refused to work under those conditions. I think everyone should refuse to work under those conditions and then we wouldn't have to, but as long as we're under capitalism, people will be deathly afraid to lose their jobs, because with a necessary unemployment rate, there's always someone ready to take over.

But enough negativity, because I could go on and on about that, but I'll save the ranting for later posts as I get more specific with my grievances. In fact I wanted to take this opportunity to elaborate on the new chapter in my life. After I was terminated I really came to terms with what I had known already - working a 9-5 job and making someone else rich is not for everyone, especially me. I am meant to be on my own, doing things my way and feeling free. Now this comes with sacrifice, such as stability, especially at the beginning. I am currently pursuing my photography business [like djp on Facebook if you haven't already!] and there have been challenges that I am facing, which was expected. For starters my computer is really old and the operating system does not allow for Java or Flash Player, making uploading my new photos to my website [which can be found by clicking here], impossible. So I tried to use my friend's laptop, but I had not copied the photos for uploading onto the portion of my external hard drive that I designated for capatibility with PCs. Also I do not have the software program Photomatix that I use to create the desired look and style for my photographs. It was on my old laptop, but that was stolen along with all of my other equipment, including my camera, from a squat house that I was staying at while traveling through Washington, D.C. a couple years ago. So it has been quite frustrating trying to navigate this unknown world, but I am not giving up. Any time I ask myself if I've made the right choice, I just remind myself of the despicable saying, 'The customer is always right,' and I shutter enough to push on, because I never want to function in that type of environment again.

The second portion of my new chapter is a juice fast! I just began this morning and am going to be attempting to consume only juice for the next seven days. I wanted it to be longer, but I am traveling to D.C. for May Day festivities and it is not possible to juice while I'm there, so I figured I'll take a hiatus and resume upon my return if I feel it necessary. I'm not sure how much I trust the scale in my bathroom, but it's all I've got to go on right now, so my starting weight is currently 188.5 lbs. Eventually I'd like to be 125, but I want to be a healthy 125. Since my metrocard expired and I do not have the funding to purchase a new one, I have been walking many places and have walked approximately 30 miles in the last week. It feels great, but I am having a bit of anxiety about June's rent and the start up costs. If you should find yourself with the ability to contribute something to help me continue on this path, any contribution helps. You can find my GoFundMe account by clicking here.

Well I will sign off for now, I know everyone else's attention span is probably as short as mine hahaha. I will keep you all updated on progress and please, if you or someone you know are located in the NYC area and are interested in doing a photo shoot [headshots and/or location shoot] or just want to talk, please hit me up here, on Facebook or at my email: Desiree_Joy_DeLoach@yahoo.com. I love hearing from other creative people, as well. Tell me your story or link me to your blog, let's connect and make ART!

Change is the Only Thing That Remains the Same

When did it all change? There are times when I love this movement. I eat, sleep, and breathe this movement. And then there are times that all I want is a stable place to live, a job that I love and that will sustain me and allow me to eat. Why can't I have both? I suppose if I had the latter, there would be no reason to love the former? Or at least not as much because, let's be honest, it wouldn't be affecting me directly. I wish I didn't think that way, but I do. I think if we're all honest with ourselves, we all do.

My current relationship has taught me a lot about myself. I'm selfish. I want people to love me for me, in spite of all my shortcomings, yet all I do is point out the negative characteristics of the one I'm with and try to change him. And he let's me and is constantly stepping up to the plate to please me. It makes me feel awful. When did I become this way? Have I always been this way? Is this why so many people leave? He is the only person so far to call me on my shit. And he stays with me in spite of me and I still act ungrateful, although I'm far from it. I want to change. I want to be a better me.

I periodically have to remind myself that tomorrow will come. No matter what happens today or how discouraged I get, the sun will rise again. Another chance to get it right. Or another chance to learn what's wrong.

On a positive note, the weather was A-mazing today. The first signs of warmness here that I have experienced this year. The sun and warmth are my energy and I look forward to a healthy and productive Spring and Summer <3

Why Do I Occupy?

Why do I Occupy?

I occupy for the four million New Yorkers that have been stopped and frisked

in New York City since 2004.

I occupy for Jatiek Reed, Amadou Diallo, Sean Bell, Ramarley Graham, and others

whom the NYPD have beaten and/or murdered and for all the victims of police brutality.

I Occupy for the 2.4 million incarcerated as a result of the prison industrial complex.

I Occupy for the millions that have been murdered domestically and abroad

in the name of democracy and the spread of U.S. Imperialism, our so-called Manifest Destiny.

I Occupy for the children that learn from a broken education system about Martin Luther King, Jr. and Harriet Tubman,

but not Malcolm X, the Black Panther Party, Angela Davis, or the countless other

unsung heroes that white nationalists deem unworthy and attempt to make disappear from history.

I Occupy for students that will be indentured servants for life

trying to repay loans for an education that should be a right, while banks get bailed out for failing.

I Occupy for the artists and slaves of the 9-5 that cringe when the alarm goes off in the morning

because all they want is to make a living doing what they love.

I Occupy for retirees that worked and saved for their entire lives for their golden years,

but now patiently await the fate of their Medicare and Social Security

as politicians squabble about not raising taxes on the rich

and fail to even mention cutting the defense budget as the nation neared the debt ceiling.

I Occupy for the soldiers that return from war with PTSD and other traumatic symptoms

and are neglected and dismissed after serving their country.

I Occupy for those soldiers and the millions that become homeless

while homes are being foreclosed upon due to predatory lending practices

and many are subject to gentrification.

I Occupy for the millions nationwide that walk through life like a lemming,

falling in line, consuming, being obedient and submissive to the “rules,” even unto death.

I Occupy so my future children and grandchildren won't have to.

I Occupy for a better world.

If not us, who? If not now, when?

"It is not what a lawyer tells me I may do;

but what humanity, reason, and justice tell me I ought to do." ~Edmund Burke, Second Speech on Conciliation, 1775

We Are Unstoppable, Another World is Possible

I am outraged.

And how are you NOT? Regardless of what your views are on the Occupy Movement, let's be honest here, there is an organized suppression of this movement and there has been from day one. It took almost an entire week before media covered what we were doing and then suddenly it became the trending fad. Our media coverage peaked and then slowly began falling off, and at the other side of that peak was coverage full of condemnation and discrediting what we had accomplished. The mainstream media, conveniently owned by corporations, spread messages of disorganization, health hazards, and rape. Did all of these exist? Absolutely. There's no denying it. But is that what our movement stood for or condoned? HELL NO. We stood for organization, a new democratic system that was non-hierarchical, a community that could exist together and take care of one another. And that, that scares the shit out of the 1%.

We have a tough road ahead of us and it will be an uphill battle, but we've already overcome so many obstacles. Nearly all major cities have had their occupations raided and evicted and we're STILL HERE. They don't seem to understand that although it is nice for each occupation to have a home-base, the occupation is NOT the movement. Just because a home is foreclosed upon doesn't mean that family dies, it means they regroup and move on to FIGHT.

I joined this movement as a non-violent protester, who was very naive when it came to police brutality and how this world is currently functioning. It doesn't take long living in this movement before one realizes what is taking place, all at the exploitations of the many for the benefit of the few. If you're not a millionaire you can't even take a seat at their table. I wish I only meant that figuratively, but when the president is charging $38,500 PER PLATE for his fundraising dinners, that statement becomes literal, as well. While I am still in non-violent mode, the time is quickly approaching where things may take a turn for the worst. Sorry, Mom, I've gotta tell it how it is. There's only so many times a person can get a baton in their neck or be thrown up against the wall by the very people that are supposed to be "protecting and serving" you. There's only so many times a person can walk out of their front door and see a mobile police station with its eye in the sky or stopped and frisked by New York's so-called "finest" before they really start to believe they are the animal that they're being treated like. I've lived this for five months. Others have lived this their entire lives. Society puts sex, drugs, violence, and mistreatment of women in the forefront of every tv show and movie, yet when our youth idolize these things and become them, we criminalize them. DOES ANYONE ELSE SEE THIS AS A PROBLEM?!?! Every time another person tells me that it's the fault of our young people for doing what they do, my heart aches more and more. YES, it is their decision, but what other decision are they left with? Get a job? There are NONE. Go to college? Can't afford it. Get a loan? They'll be an indentured servant for life trying to repay them while the very entities that they're repaying are failing and getting bailed out. What about a bailout for the people? They have us believe that the economy is unpredictable. I say BULLSHIT. They know EXACTLY what the economy is doing and they're benefiting from it while everyone else suffers, losing their homes and unable to eat. CAPITALISM IS THE PROBLEM. It is a system set up for greed. We need a system that is set up for the care of EVERYONE, not just the people wealthy enough to buy their way in.

So for everyone who says I need to get a job, I say this - I do not want to function in your society. Your society manipulates and exploits those willing to work the hardest and then tries to condemn them by calling them lazy when they are unemployed because they can't find work. Your society functions off of the exploitation of the laborers to make a few rich while indefinitely keeping them in a cycle that they are terrified to get out of for fear of the unknown. I AM NOT AFRAID. I will gladly starve before I work for another corporation that doesn't give a damn about whether I live or die. I will sleep in the streets before I go back to being a lemming, blindly walking through this world and this life caring only for myself and what I'm going to consume next because that's what society has taught me. I AM NOT AFRAID. And you shouldn't be either. Just REALLY think about what it is you're afraid of losing. A home? A car? A cushioned lifestyle? All materialism. Millions across the globe are dying of starvation and illnesses that are as curable as the common cold here in America. All that matters is what we do for people.

"I believe I'm going to die doing the things I was born to do. I believe I'm going to die high off the people. I believe I'm going to die a revolutionary in the international revolutionary proletarian struggle." -Fred Hampton, Black Panther Party

PLEASE WAKE UP. If you're awake, shake the person next to you. Then have them shake the person next to them. We have very little left and they're after that. They won't stop until they have it all, I promise you. The police are not here to protect you, if you think they are, try exercising your first amendment right against a corporation and see how quickly they're given orders to turn on you. They can hold us indefinitely now without trial because of the NDAA. Not far away is the day that they label protesters as terrorists, if you don't believe me, just wait.

This is a very small portion of what is actually on my mind. I love this City, but they speak truth when they say it is fast-paced and if you're not careful you will get caught up in it. Even quiet moments of alone time are rushed as I'm frantically getting ready for meetings, rallies, marches, court dates, travel. It's the life I wanted and the life I never want to give up, but if I'm not careful it will drive me mentally insane. It's not for the faint of heart. I love you all. We are unstoppable, another world is possible.