Not Gonna Rain On My Parade.

The clouds are rolling in, as I take the last few items from the apartment to the car, but it won't rain on my parade-I'm almost out of here!

I've had my time with this apartment. Time to reminisce, time get get emotional and time to say good-bye. I'm ready for this to be over and to move on. I feel as if the next chapter has already begun, while this one hasn't even closed yet. Wednesday cannot come fast enough.

For the last few weeks I have been focused on packing and moving, and have not thought about New York much, until now. I was speaking to a friend about her possibly moving there and looking at the pictures from another. I cannot wait to focus on editing my photographs from the last few years and then moving on to future endeavors. New York is my goal and I need to make a plan to get there.

But first, I have to get my life in order.

So here's to the next few days, weeks, months, years...here's to the life I dream of...

The Past, the Present and the Future.

And so it has begun...

I started the moving process today. Took over all my clothes and everything from my closet, as well as a few other items. As I pack up the place, I am reminded of when I first moved in. I was excited, nervous, scared that I wouldn't be able to make it on my own, but these last three years have taught me a lot about myself. Now I know just how strong I really am and how much effort I am willing to put forth to make something work. I've learned how to work as a team and how to stand on my own two feet when that team falls apart. I've learned that life is what we make of it and we can sit back and wait for things to come to us, or we can get up and fight for what we want. I've said hello and good-bye in this apartment more times than I care to recall, but would not trade them for anything, as they have allowed me to spend time with wonderful people that I love and will never forget. My Mom always tells me if I can assess a situation and the good outweighs the bad, everything is alright. Well, everything is alright, I guess... =]

I've been thinking a lot about where to go from here, what to pursue, what to let go of, and what to do to leave behind not just a body when I die, but a legacy, something that made the world a better place. I have a list of items to purchase within the next few months that will allow me to get organized, edit photos and put my life on the track that I want it to be on. But after that, then what? What kind of photography do I wish to pursue? One thing is for sure, I don't want to do photography to just get paid. I want my photography to help humanity. I am interested in going to another country, and poverty and hunger are the two issues that I want to tackle. Now that I will have the financial means, I hope to research different non-profit organizations and see what they have to offer. I want to help people and make them smile. That is, the ones who deserve it and have little to nothing else going for them. I feel like I can learn a lot about life from someone that doesn't even speak my language =]

Hellllloooo Seattle.

So quite a bit has happened since my last post, but one major thing. I have made the decision not to move out of Florida just yet. I did a lot of deliberating and came to the conclusion that it would be a mistake to up and leave this amazing job that I have currently. So instead, I'm packing up and moving to Jeremy's at the end of the month and doing lots of traveling. As we speak, I am in Oak Harbor, Washington! My boss told me that I wasn't needed on Wednesday, giving me a five day weekend and I made a spontaneous choice to come over here to visit Ali and Kellilynn! Yesterday I traveled from Orlando to Denver, Colorado and then on to Seattle. We walked around downtown and did some shopping and ate at Red Robin by the waterfront. Afterwards we went up in the Space Needle and I got plenty of pictures. Then we came home to Ali's house and Kellilynn came over and we ate Oreos and talked for a bit. Today we are watching the kids and we just ate a really big breakfast complete with eggs, bacon, sausage and toast.

Last week I went down to Fort Lauderdale to spend time with my friends from the Bahamas, Mark and Ahamard. We went down to Miami during Memorial Day weekend and had lots of fun. I miss them already!

So I am anxious to see where I will travel to next. I plan on building up my portfolio and getting my website and business cards done soon. I'm excited for the future!

Until next time...

As We Go On, We Remember, All the Times We Had Together

Pomp and Circumstance has faded. Friends and family have come and gone. Reality begins to set in...

All day I have been in the process of packing up my apartment and getting things organized. After three years, I will call 2021 Apt A home for only 37 more days and I couldn't be more excited. Of course it is bittersweet, as this was my first apartment by myself and a stepping stone that has shown me just how much strength I have. I never had to ask my parents for money to help pay the rent for this apartment, nor for my other bills while I was here. They supplimented me in other ways, as in helping out with school, but I took another step to becoming completely independent. There are also many memories in this apartment. The first few nights of living here, Cordell stayed with me. This is the place he knew every time he came from Antigua to visit and every room of this apartment holds memories of the two of us. I cooked the first real dinner for him in this apartment. I lived here throughout my entire journey in photography school, but now is as good of a time as any to move on. Florida, you have been good to me, but it's time to try new things.

So the road to graduation has officially ended and the ceremony was a success. I love my friends and know that we will keep in touch no matter where life leads us from here. I officially have four degrees now. A high school diploma, AA, Bachelor's of Arts and Associate of Science, making me the class of 2002, 2006 and 2010. What's up next for 2014? Gotta do it big haha.

So I have really been spending a lot of time with my friends lately and I must say, they are pretty amazing. We have the best times and then come home and Facebook about the quotes from the night for hours. I wonder how long this Facebook fad will last until it's on to the next thing, but I'm extremely grateful for it! While some choose to keep their lives private, and respectfully so, I enjoy the fact that my life and personality are all laid out for people to see and read about. Thank you Monica, Brooke, Jonathan, Pamela, Ellen, Bruno, Liz, Leilani and all the amazing other work friends that I have. Also thanks to Michela, Kim Aiken, Colleen, Takiya, Kisha, Laura, Amber, Mark and all my other friends. Thank you for making my life so amazing and worth getting up for in the morning. We have had some unforgettable times and I'm sure they're not going to end any time soon!

As I continue to see how my life will unfold from here, please continue on this journey with me.

GO ORLANDO MAGIC!

My Life. Where Amazing Happens.

Bittersweet.

That's exactly what this moment feels like. I can't decide if I am happy or sad. Excited or nervous. I think that it's all of those rolled in to one. My stint at Daytona State College is officially over and graduation lingers in the distance. I have a new part-time job as an assistant to a food photographer and yet I just said good-bye last night to one of my favorite people on the planet, Brooke Caccavelli. Funny how life works. I don't know why I got so emotional, but I did. I cried all the way home, mostly thinking of how I just said good-bye again to another friend, Liz Durbin, earlier in the week, and how it seems that as soon as I get close to someone, they always leave. Even with all that, I have been the happiest that I think that I have ever been. Maybe I'm afraid that they'll take my happiness with them when they leave. I used to be so afraid to say that I was happy, because every time that I did, whatever I was happy about went away. But now, it's as if I have had something lifted off my shoulders. I am no longer dependent on a man to make me happy, but dependent on my friends, of which I have the most amazing ever. I could not ask for better people in my life right now.

So yesterday was a success and a disaster. I did not really know what to expect, but in the whole scheme of things, they went smoothly and ended well. I made a thousand U-turns trying to find where places were around the studio. I ordered lunch from the wrong Panera and they were angry when I cancelled the order. I freaked out that I did not buy the correct looking broccoli, lemons or limes and felt nervous at times when I was just standing around not doing anything. But I got my own key and at the end of the day when Susan and I were talking with one of the stylists, Susan said that many people from Daytona State have wanted to work with her over the years, but I am the one that got the position. I sealed the deal when I sent a Christmas card (thank you, Patrick Van Dusen!). She said I did very well and that all of this was just part of the learning curve. I am so blessed to have someone that is so successful take me under their wing. This is what I've been hoping and praying for for so long and I really feel as if this is going to lead me to something wonderful. God is so good.

So here's to new beginnings. A chapter in my life is about to come to a close and a new one is beginning. Here's to that new chapter being even more amazing than the last.

*CHEERS*

Heads in Beds. Chicken and Chairs.

For the first time in my life I am not worried about what the future holds. I am hopeful and excited for the adventure that awaits me. It finally hit me the other day. I am almost finished with this chapter of my life and am about to move on. I am trying to take in everything around me. I realized just how many memories I have here in Orlando, both good and bad, but they make my life what it is today. From my first move to the UCF area and transitioning into adulthood, to meeting the most amazing people at the Sports Complex and everything in between. I would not change my life. I have made mistakes, but ultimately learned from them. I have realized that I am stronger than I thought and that if I put my mind to something, it will become reality. I'm going to miss it here, just as I missed NSB after I left. I am blessed with the most amazing friends that are continuously telling me they don't want me to leave and a family that has been there for me through the ups and downs. I am truly blessed and thankful for it all. Sometimes I take it for granted, but when I think about it, I realize that I don't know what I'd ever do without them. Thank you all for the most amazing 26 years. Let's keep it going.

So I don't really write too much about events that have occurred, as I do not want this to be a diary of 'this is what I did today,' but whenever something pertains to reaching my photography goals, it deserves mentioning. So the other day I shadowed a Disney photographer, the ones that do weddings and conventions. It was very interesting and enlightening. I learned that I know more than I thought I knew, and that was very comforting knowing that I can be successful at this stage.

We were doing what was called a RUSH bridal shoot and we started off by picking up the bride and groom (Amy and Mark) from Disney's Wilderness Lodge. We then drove over to Magic Kingdom and took shots in front of the castle, behind the castle and a few other locations. The set up was fairly simple. Camera mounted on the tripod with on-camera flash and a stand that held another off-camera flash, as well, that slaved to the first one. There were also small daylight balanced video lights, the size of my palm, that I had never seen before, but helped throw lots of light on to the couple. Very convenient. Joe, the photog, realized that he had forgotten to stop by and pick up the bouquet, so he was forced to take the beginning shots with her posing her hands as if she were holding it, until it arrived. Then we traveled to Hollywood Studios and took photos in front of Tower of Terror, the hat, Star Tours, the Muppets fountain, the Chinese theater and a few other locations. All of the bridal shoots are done before park hours, so it was neat to be able to see the park without having to be working turnstiles.

We then returned to the office and since it was a RUSH, Joe began editing right away. He was unaware of how to place the bouquet into the bride's hands, so he called over Bob, the Photoshop guru. I told him that I knew how I would do it, but didn't know if it was the easiest or most efficient. He asked how I would do it and I told him I would lasso the bouquet, drag it over and erase to the background. He said that was exactly how it was done! It made me feel good that I knew something the photographer didn't know.

The coordinator Tonya then gave me a tour of the building. Disney is amazing. I know I say a lot about how horrendous it is, and yes, it can be, but there are parts that are just amazing, I will admit. In this building they do not only the photography, but graphic arts, audio and video, floral designs, celebration baskets and so much more. Just seeing so many creative people under one roof made me happy!

Well, today is Cinco de Mayo and my friends and I are having an epic party! Plus, Liz comes into town this evening and I am super excited for the next week! School is almost over and then it's time to pack up the apartment. I can't wait for my first 'white' Christmas.

Risk It.

All I want are for things to be simple.

No clutter. No drama. No chaos. Just SIMPLE.

I am counting down the (31) days until graduation and I'm excited about this one. I am trying to put aside the stress and take in as much as I can, because I know with me constantly living in the past, it will only be a matter of time before I wish that I was back at Daytona State College and in Florida. I anticipate the home sickness and am a little nervous for it. I have never lived more than an hour away from my parents and never been more than a few months without seeing them. I have a feeling that this will be difficult, but I welcome it with open arms, as this is something that I need to do. I have made the perfect transition, from high school graduation, to moving an hour away and now to moving out-of-state. As long as I am this close, I will continue to depend on their help (that I am extremely thankful for) and I need to learn to stand on my own two feet. It is time. I believe that I have come a long way from where I started, but I have a ways to go. I look forward to the challenge.

So a friend told me today that before she moved to New York she had cold feet for a year. Then she realized she needed to just do it and she got rid of most of her belongings, packed the car and moved there. I won't lie, I am nervous as hell. It's not that I don't think I can make it, it's just...well, I don't know what it is, really. Fear of the unknown. Fear of failure. But most of all, I think it's fear of success. For so long I've been okay with being mediocre and safe. It's time that I take a risk. Time to work to live and not live to work.

I cannot wait to explore the City with my camera. The City That Never Sleeps is so unique, unlike any other in the world. And yet completely the same. I'm excited for having an endless list of to-do's, but not the boring, mundane, I'm-only-doing-this-because-I-have-to ones. I'm excited to organize all my images, catalog them and eventually start a website. I'm excited to learn what type of photography I enjoy most and to hone in on the skills for that particular field. Photography is absolutely amazing. It is the same media with the ability to do things hundred of different ways.

So I'm nervous. Meh. I'll leave you with some quotes that I have found that have encouraged me. Hope they do the same for you.

"If you wait to do everything until you're sure it's right, you'll probably never do much of anything." -Win Borden

"A ship is safe in harbour. But that's not what ships are for." -William Shedd

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." -Anais Nin

Okay, this one just struck me so super hard...
"Pitful is the person who is afraid of taking risks. Perhaps this person will never be disappointed or disillusioned; perhaps she won't suffer the way people do when they have a dream to follow. But when the person looks back-she will hear her heart." -Paolo Coelho