Thursday, September 29, 2011
We Shall Overcome.
"Within the last few moments I have come to the realization that all I want is to fit in somewhere. Or more importantly, to be surrounded by friends that feel the same way, united by the common bond of feeling like outcasts. I think that is the reasoning surrounding my draw to New York City. I yearn to be in the company of artistic and creative-minded individuals that are ostracized by society."
I think I've found that place.
On Saturday, September 17th, I made my way down to Wall Street in hopes of getting some amazing photographs and marching for justice. I had no idea that it would consume me and become my life, but I am forever grateful for the change. I ended up sleeping in the park that night with fellow Occupiers and I have yet to miss a day. And as of tomorrow, I will be leaving the comfort of a roof over my head and an available shower in order to find permanent residence at Zuccotti Park aka Liberty Plaza. With a pay rate of $7.75/hr at Barnes & Noble, it is impossible for me to pay my bills AND rent, so after some deliberation, I decided to take the opportunity to pay everything that I owe and rent a storage facility for my belongings. If nothing else, it will make for an amazing story to tell in years to come.
I have had ups and downs here. I have met new people and lost friends back home who either do not understand or just disagree with what I'm doing. But losing friends is nothing new to me, and although it doesn't make the pain any less, I know that what I'm doing will change America, and to me, that's worth it. Occupy Wall Street has already sparked other occupations in Boston, Los Angeles, Dallas, Houston, Phoenix, Chicago, Tampa, Orlando, and many other cities nationwide. We hold general assemblies twice a day to discuss our agendas and concerns, as well as working groups, such as medical, legal, sanitation, food, outreach, and many others. We hold opening and closing marches on Wall Street and major marches on Saturday afternoons. Last week we had over 2,000 people join us as we took over the streets of Lower Manhattan, of which 85-100 were arrested, most being released without charges.
It has been a whirlwind two weeks. I have met Lupe Fiasco, Immortal Technique, Cornel West, and last night Michael Moore stopped by to do a live broadcast from Occupy Wall Street. Susan Sarandon also came through and more celebrities are starting to back us and get us more media coverage. It took three days before a single media outlet would even cover us, and five to six days before we received national media coverage, thanks to the always-amazing Keith Olbermann.
I will continue to keep everyone aware of what's going on at Broadway and Liberty and if you feel so compelled, JOIN US! I will be honored to meet you at either JFK or LaGuardia and show you around.
WE ARE THE 99%!
ALL DAY, ALL WEEK, OCCUPY WALL STREET!
ALL WEEK, ALL YEAR, WE'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE!
HOW DO WE FIX OUR DEFICIT? END THE WAR AND TAX THE RICH!
WE GOT SOLD OUT, BANKS GOT BAILED OUT!
Dez & Immortal Technique
Dr. Cornel West
I think I've found that place.
On Saturday, September 17th, I made my way down to Wall Street in hopes of getting some amazing photographs and marching for justice. I had no idea that it would consume me and become my life, but I am forever grateful for the change. I ended up sleeping in the park that night with fellow Occupiers and I have yet to miss a day. And as of tomorrow, I will be leaving the comfort of a roof over my head and an available shower in order to find permanent residence at Zuccotti Park aka Liberty Plaza. With a pay rate of $7.75/hr at Barnes & Noble, it is impossible for me to pay my bills AND rent, so after some deliberation, I decided to take the opportunity to pay everything that I owe and rent a storage facility for my belongings. If nothing else, it will make for an amazing story to tell in years to come.
I have had ups and downs here. I have met new people and lost friends back home who either do not understand or just disagree with what I'm doing. But losing friends is nothing new to me, and although it doesn't make the pain any less, I know that what I'm doing will change America, and to me, that's worth it. Occupy Wall Street has already sparked other occupations in Boston, Los Angeles, Dallas, Houston, Phoenix, Chicago, Tampa, Orlando, and many other cities nationwide. We hold general assemblies twice a day to discuss our agendas and concerns, as well as working groups, such as medical, legal, sanitation, food, outreach, and many others. We hold opening and closing marches on Wall Street and major marches on Saturday afternoons. Last week we had over 2,000 people join us as we took over the streets of Lower Manhattan, of which 85-100 were arrested, most being released without charges.
It has been a whirlwind two weeks. I have met Lupe Fiasco, Immortal Technique, Cornel West, and last night Michael Moore stopped by to do a live broadcast from Occupy Wall Street. Susan Sarandon also came through and more celebrities are starting to back us and get us more media coverage. It took three days before a single media outlet would even cover us, and five to six days before we received national media coverage, thanks to the always-amazing Keith Olbermann.
I will continue to keep everyone aware of what's going on at Broadway and Liberty and if you feel so compelled, JOIN US! I will be honored to meet you at either JFK or LaGuardia and show you around.
WE ARE THE 99%!
ALL DAY, ALL WEEK, OCCUPY WALL STREET!
ALL WEEK, ALL YEAR, WE'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE!
HOW DO WE FIX OUR DEFICIT? END THE WAR AND TAX THE RICH!
WE GOT SOLD OUT, BANKS GOT BAILED OUT!
Dez & Lupe Fiasco
Dez & Immortal Technique
Dr. Cornel West
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Compelling Power
There's this feeling I get. This awe-inspiring, top-of-the-world, draw me in and keep me there, natural high that consumes me whenever I am taking part in a production. And then just like that, it is taken from me when it's over, and I'm left feeling desolate and empty. Although I've never been a junkie, I can imagine that this is their experience.
This feeling envelopes me every time I'm a part of something that an elite few of us get the honor of enjoying. I love and embrace being in the middle of something, but not necessarily the center of attention. To be able to say I was there, that I was able to partake in the moment, that is what I long for. Even knowing what the outcome will be, the sorrow that will inevitably follow, the addiction still reaches out with welcome. And then leaves me yearning to be in its presence, but feeling like it will never come around again.
It happened when I was interning at a radio station back in Florida, when I had a camera in my hand and was photographing or filming onstage. It even happens when I merely attend a concert and am one of the lucky few close to the front. And it happened yesterday when I was attending The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. This power, this uncontrollable sense of happiness that I rarely get to experience, a feeling of that is where I need to be in life.
But how? I try to stay encouraged in the face of defeat, but there's only so much rejection that I can take before I become completely overwhelmed. It's not for lack of trying, although I am my own worst critic and often tell myself otherwise. It is very defeating when I see people that are financially capable of pursuing whatever dream they want and I can't. There is so much that I could do if money was not a factor and I'm trying to conjure up creative ideas that cost little to no money.
I lack experience and it's as if no one is willing to take a chance on someone anymore. I know that I can work hard, especially if it's something that I believe in, but how do I go about it? What exactly do I want and how do I get there? I am indecisive and lost. I'm trying to find my way and keep my head up, but I feel so much weight and obstacles baring down on me. I am a fighter and am not willing to give up. But what if I just end up fighting forever and never accomplish anything? What will it have been worth? My biggest fear is being unsuccessful when I die. To me success isn't defined by money or financial worth, it's defined by what you're worth to people and living a life that is self-satisfying. I'm not satisfied. I haven't been for awhile. I am not one to wait around and wait for something to be handed to me, but I honestly don't know what to do next.
This feeling envelopes me every time I'm a part of something that an elite few of us get the honor of enjoying. I love and embrace being in the middle of something, but not necessarily the center of attention. To be able to say I was there, that I was able to partake in the moment, that is what I long for. Even knowing what the outcome will be, the sorrow that will inevitably follow, the addiction still reaches out with welcome. And then leaves me yearning to be in its presence, but feeling like it will never come around again.
It happened when I was interning at a radio station back in Florida, when I had a camera in my hand and was photographing or filming onstage. It even happens when I merely attend a concert and am one of the lucky few close to the front. And it happened yesterday when I was attending The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. This power, this uncontrollable sense of happiness that I rarely get to experience, a feeling of that is where I need to be in life.
But how? I try to stay encouraged in the face of defeat, but there's only so much rejection that I can take before I become completely overwhelmed. It's not for lack of trying, although I am my own worst critic and often tell myself otherwise. It is very defeating when I see people that are financially capable of pursuing whatever dream they want and I can't. There is so much that I could do if money was not a factor and I'm trying to conjure up creative ideas that cost little to no money.
I lack experience and it's as if no one is willing to take a chance on someone anymore. I know that I can work hard, especially if it's something that I believe in, but how do I go about it? What exactly do I want and how do I get there? I am indecisive and lost. I'm trying to find my way and keep my head up, but I feel so much weight and obstacles baring down on me. I am a fighter and am not willing to give up. But what if I just end up fighting forever and never accomplish anything? What will it have been worth? My biggest fear is being unsuccessful when I die. To me success isn't defined by money or financial worth, it's defined by what you're worth to people and living a life that is self-satisfying. I'm not satisfied. I haven't been for awhile. I am not one to wait around and wait for something to be handed to me, but I honestly don't know what to do next.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Ahem, Now That I Have Your Attention... Next We'll Be Singing Kumbaya.
I don't know that words can do justice to the pain and emotion that I witnessed on this day, the tenth anniversary of September 11th. To hear ten year old children say that they were never able to meet their mother or father because they died in the attacks sent me on a rollercoaster ride of sadness and anger. We may never know for sure who choreographed the hijackings of that day, whether it was an inside or an outside job, but we know that it forever changed the world and this wonderful city that I now call home.
But with the sadness also came the anger. The anger that it always takes an enormous tragedy to unite us domestically or globally. And anger that whenever something of this magnitude happens, that we point the finger at one group of people and say it's their fault. Not that they were radicals and are differentiated from whatever race or religion they were, but that now there has to be a generalization and profiling of that new set of people, because they must all be bad. It's the Jews, the blacks, the Muslims, the gays. Who's next? Sooner or later we're going to run out of people to blame and then what? Are we going to recycle and start all over again? Are whites ever going to be discriminated against? I mean the whites are ALWAYS the ones doing the finger-pointing and war-declaring, I think we're more than overdue. Or will we all finally come to a place where we realize that we have more commonalities than differences? Or will this all end in war and nuclear weapons? Why do so many people hate other people so much? And why is it those people that we let alter our way of thinking? Why do we buy into what their selling instead of critically thinking for ourselves? Why am I constantly repeating myself?
I have been blessed with 27 years of my parents, why are so many not as fortunate? Why are some born into poverty and others born into wealth? Why are the majority of the wealthy so damn greedy and unfazed by the suffering of fellow human beings? Death is a part of life and is the one thing that is completely beyond our control. But what's not beyond our control is HOW people die. Why is it that whenever I wonder how I am going to die, I never consider natural death? How many of us know someone that has actually died of old age? I think I know ONE. Everyone else I know has died of a disease, of which I am hard pressed to believe that there are not already cures for, and are on an ungodly amount of pills to offset the pain. What about the side effects? There is definitely good medication, but there is also medication that is NOT good and that they're only feeding us unnecessarily in order to make more money and to make us more sick. The other people I know have died from car accidents or war. These things are predictable and avoidable!
So let's take September 11th as an example of unity and let's continue to unite in times of peace, as well as times of war and tragedy. We all want the same things out of life, to love, to enjoy every moment, to know that we are loved in return, to not hunger, and to be financially stable, along with our own individual dreams. Let's support each other and help each other, even in the most simple of ways. Don't underestimate the power of kind words!
Steps off soap box.
But with the sadness also came the anger. The anger that it always takes an enormous tragedy to unite us domestically or globally. And anger that whenever something of this magnitude happens, that we point the finger at one group of people and say it's their fault. Not that they were radicals and are differentiated from whatever race or religion they were, but that now there has to be a generalization and profiling of that new set of people, because they must all be bad. It's the Jews, the blacks, the Muslims, the gays. Who's next? Sooner or later we're going to run out of people to blame and then what? Are we going to recycle and start all over again? Are whites ever going to be discriminated against? I mean the whites are ALWAYS the ones doing the finger-pointing and war-declaring, I think we're more than overdue. Or will we all finally come to a place where we realize that we have more commonalities than differences? Or will this all end in war and nuclear weapons? Why do so many people hate other people so much? And why is it those people that we let alter our way of thinking? Why do we buy into what their selling instead of critically thinking for ourselves? Why am I constantly repeating myself?
I have been blessed with 27 years of my parents, why are so many not as fortunate? Why are some born into poverty and others born into wealth? Why are the majority of the wealthy so damn greedy and unfazed by the suffering of fellow human beings? Death is a part of life and is the one thing that is completely beyond our control. But what's not beyond our control is HOW people die. Why is it that whenever I wonder how I am going to die, I never consider natural death? How many of us know someone that has actually died of old age? I think I know ONE. Everyone else I know has died of a disease, of which I am hard pressed to believe that there are not already cures for, and are on an ungodly amount of pills to offset the pain. What about the side effects? There is definitely good medication, but there is also medication that is NOT good and that they're only feeding us unnecessarily in order to make more money and to make us more sick. The other people I know have died from car accidents or war. These things are predictable and avoidable!
So let's take September 11th as an example of unity and let's continue to unite in times of peace, as well as times of war and tragedy. We all want the same things out of life, to love, to enjoy every moment, to know that we are loved in return, to not hunger, and to be financially stable, along with our own individual dreams. Let's support each other and help each other, even in the most simple of ways. Don't underestimate the power of kind words!
Steps off soap box.
Friday, September 2, 2011
Three Steps Forward, Two Steps Back
My initial reaction to getting hired was excitement. Now I'm having a hard time digesting it. These first two weeks were amazing; I may have been alone, but I was able to explore and make plans as I wished, nothing standing in my way. Now that has changed. I was almost in the clear, but then the scheduler said I was scheduled for one more day, Thursday, September 8, the day of the Atlanta Braves vs Mets doubleheader. Now I have to give up the tickets and miss the game, which in itself is quite minute, but it's the bigger picture that's bringing me down. Ever since I started college I have lived to work, not worked to live, and I'm terrified that I will get thrown back into that vicious, soul-stealing cycle, yet again. By taking this job I have decreased my pay wage significantly, in which I already thought I was working for merely nothing, now I'm working for 0.65/hour less, and it's transgressing back to food and beverage, something I vowed I would never work in again unless I was elderly and was just working so I wasn't bored.
I know in the scheme of things and dealing with worldly issues, this is completely insignificant and selfish, but this is just how I feel. I needed to express it in words, because honestly, I'm just worried. I hope this is only a stepping stone and that I don't get caught up living paycheck to paycheck again, barely able to pay bills. I don't want to live another day where I wake up hating life and not wanting to go to work. I want a career that I am excited about and I know that opportunity is more attainable here than it was in Florida for me, I just hate feeling this way. Hopefully a better situation presents itself in the near future.
I know in the scheme of things and dealing with worldly issues, this is completely insignificant and selfish, but this is just how I feel. I needed to express it in words, because honestly, I'm just worried. I hope this is only a stepping stone and that I don't get caught up living paycheck to paycheck again, barely able to pay bills. I don't want to live another day where I wake up hating life and not wanting to go to work. I want a career that I am excited about and I know that opportunity is more attainable here than it was in Florida for me, I just hate feeling this way. Hopefully a better situation presents itself in the near future.
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