Pomp and Circumstance has faded. Friends and family have come and gone. Reality begins to set in...
All day I have been in the process of packing up my apartment and getting things organized. After three years, I will call 2021 Apt A home for only 37 more days and I couldn't be more excited. Of course it is bittersweet, as this was my first apartment by myself and a stepping stone that has shown me just how much strength I have. I never had to ask my parents for money to help pay the rent for this apartment, nor for my other bills while I was here. They supplimented me in other ways, as in helping out with school, but I took another step to becoming completely independent. There are also many memories in this apartment. The first few nights of living here, Cordell stayed with me. This is the place he knew every time he came from Antigua to visit and every room of this apartment holds memories of the two of us. I cooked the first real dinner for him in this apartment. I lived here throughout my entire journey in photography school, but now is as good of a time as any to move on. Florida, you have been good to me, but it's time to try new things.
So the road to graduation has officially ended and the ceremony was a success. I love my friends and know that we will keep in touch no matter where life leads us from here. I officially have four degrees now. A high school diploma, AA, Bachelor's of Arts and Associate of Science, making me the class of 2002, 2006 and 2010. What's up next for 2014? Gotta do it big haha.
So I have really been spending a lot of time with my friends lately and I must say, they are pretty amazing. We have the best times and then come home and Facebook about the quotes from the night for hours. I wonder how long this Facebook fad will last until it's on to the next thing, but I'm extremely grateful for it! While some choose to keep their lives private, and respectfully so, I enjoy the fact that my life and personality are all laid out for people to see and read about. Thank you Monica, Brooke, Jonathan, Pamela, Ellen, Bruno, Liz, Leilani and all the amazing other work friends that I have. Also thanks to Michela, Kim Aiken, Colleen, Takiya, Kisha, Laura, Amber, Mark and all my other friends. Thank you for making my life so amazing and worth getting up for in the morning. We have had some unforgettable times and I'm sure they're not going to end any time soon!
As I continue to see how my life will unfold from here, please continue on this journey with me.
GO ORLANDO MAGIC!
Monday, May 24, 2010
Friday, May 14, 2010
My Life. Where Amazing Happens.
Bittersweet.
That's exactly what this moment feels like. I can't decide if I am happy or sad. Excited or nervous. I think that it's all of those rolled in to one. My stint at Daytona State College is officially over and graduation lingers in the distance. I have a new part-time job as an assistant to a food photographer and yet I just said good-bye last night to one of my favorite people on the planet, Brooke Caccavelli. Funny how life works. I don't know why I got so emotional, but I did. I cried all the way home, mostly thinking of how I just said good-bye again to another friend, Liz Durbin, earlier in the week, and how it seems that as soon as I get close to someone, they always leave. Even with all that, I have been the happiest that I think that I have ever been. Maybe I'm afraid that they'll take my happiness with them when they leave. I used to be so afraid to say that I was happy, because every time that I did, whatever I was happy about went away. But now, it's as if I have had something lifted off my shoulders. I am no longer dependent on a man to make me happy, but dependent on my friends, of which I have the most amazing ever. I could not ask for better people in my life right now.
So yesterday was a success and a disaster. I did not really know what to expect, but in the whole scheme of things, they went smoothly and ended well. I made a thousand U-turns trying to find where places were around the studio. I ordered lunch from the wrong Panera and they were angry when I cancelled the order. I freaked out that I did not buy the correct looking broccoli, lemons or limes and felt nervous at times when I was just standing around not doing anything. But I got my own key and at the end of the day when Susan and I were talking with one of the stylists, Susan said that many people from Daytona State have wanted to work with her over the years, but I am the one that got the position. I sealed the deal when I sent a Christmas card (thank you, Patrick Van Dusen!). She said I did very well and that all of this was just part of the learning curve. I am so blessed to have someone that is so successful take me under their wing. This is what I've been hoping and praying for for so long and I really feel as if this is going to lead me to something wonderful. God is so good.
So here's to new beginnings. A chapter in my life is about to come to a close and a new one is beginning. Here's to that new chapter being even more amazing than the last.
*CHEERS*
That's exactly what this moment feels like. I can't decide if I am happy or sad. Excited or nervous. I think that it's all of those rolled in to one. My stint at Daytona State College is officially over and graduation lingers in the distance. I have a new part-time job as an assistant to a food photographer and yet I just said good-bye last night to one of my favorite people on the planet, Brooke Caccavelli. Funny how life works. I don't know why I got so emotional, but I did. I cried all the way home, mostly thinking of how I just said good-bye again to another friend, Liz Durbin, earlier in the week, and how it seems that as soon as I get close to someone, they always leave. Even with all that, I have been the happiest that I think that I have ever been. Maybe I'm afraid that they'll take my happiness with them when they leave. I used to be so afraid to say that I was happy, because every time that I did, whatever I was happy about went away. But now, it's as if I have had something lifted off my shoulders. I am no longer dependent on a man to make me happy, but dependent on my friends, of which I have the most amazing ever. I could not ask for better people in my life right now.
So yesterday was a success and a disaster. I did not really know what to expect, but in the whole scheme of things, they went smoothly and ended well. I made a thousand U-turns trying to find where places were around the studio. I ordered lunch from the wrong Panera and they were angry when I cancelled the order. I freaked out that I did not buy the correct looking broccoli, lemons or limes and felt nervous at times when I was just standing around not doing anything. But I got my own key and at the end of the day when Susan and I were talking with one of the stylists, Susan said that many people from Daytona State have wanted to work with her over the years, but I am the one that got the position. I sealed the deal when I sent a Christmas card (thank you, Patrick Van Dusen!). She said I did very well and that all of this was just part of the learning curve. I am so blessed to have someone that is so successful take me under their wing. This is what I've been hoping and praying for for so long and I really feel as if this is going to lead me to something wonderful. God is so good.
So here's to new beginnings. A chapter in my life is about to come to a close and a new one is beginning. Here's to that new chapter being even more amazing than the last.
*CHEERS*
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Heads in Beds. Chicken and Chairs.
For the first time in my life I am not worried about what the future holds. I am hopeful and excited for the adventure that awaits me. It finally hit me the other day. I am almost finished with this chapter of my life and am about to move on. I am trying to take in everything around me. I realized just how many memories I have here in Orlando, both good and bad, but they make my life what it is today. From my first move to the UCF area and transitioning into adulthood, to meeting the most amazing people at the Sports Complex and everything in between. I would not change my life. I have made mistakes, but ultimately learned from them. I have realized that I am stronger than I thought and that if I put my mind to something, it will become reality. I'm going to miss it here, just as I missed NSB after I left. I am blessed with the most amazing friends that are continuously telling me they don't want me to leave and a family that has been there for me through the ups and downs. I am truly blessed and thankful for it all. Sometimes I take it for granted, but when I think about it, I realize that I don't know what I'd ever do without them. Thank you all for the most amazing 26 years. Let's keep it going.
So I don't really write too much about events that have occurred, as I do not want this to be a diary of 'this is what I did today,' but whenever something pertains to reaching my photography goals, it deserves mentioning. So the other day I shadowed a Disney photographer, the ones that do weddings and conventions. It was very interesting and enlightening. I learned that I know more than I thought I knew, and that was very comforting knowing that I can be successful at this stage.
We were doing what was called a RUSH bridal shoot and we started off by picking up the bride and groom (Amy and Mark) from Disney's Wilderness Lodge. We then drove over to Magic Kingdom and took shots in front of the castle, behind the castle and a few other locations. The set up was fairly simple. Camera mounted on the tripod with on-camera flash and a stand that held another off-camera flash, as well, that slaved to the first one. There were also small daylight balanced video lights, the size of my palm, that I had never seen before, but helped throw lots of light on to the couple. Very convenient. Joe, the photog, realized that he had forgotten to stop by and pick up the bouquet, so he was forced to take the beginning shots with her posing her hands as if she were holding it, until it arrived. Then we traveled to Hollywood Studios and took photos in front of Tower of Terror, the hat, Star Tours, the Muppets fountain, the Chinese theater and a few other locations. All of the bridal shoots are done before park hours, so it was neat to be able to see the park without having to be working turnstiles.
We then returned to the office and since it was a RUSH, Joe began editing right away. He was unaware of how to place the bouquet into the bride's hands, so he called over Bob, the Photoshop guru. I told him that I knew how I would do it, but didn't know if it was the easiest or most efficient. He asked how I would do it and I told him I would lasso the bouquet, drag it over and erase to the background. He said that was exactly how it was done! It made me feel good that I knew something the photographer didn't know.
The coordinator Tonya then gave me a tour of the building. Disney is amazing. I know I say a lot about how horrendous it is, and yes, it can be, but there are parts that are just amazing, I will admit. In this building they do not only the photography, but graphic arts, audio and video, floral designs, celebration baskets and so much more. Just seeing so many creative people under one roof made me happy!
Well, today is Cinco de Mayo and my friends and I are having an epic party! Plus, Liz comes into town this evening and I am super excited for the next week! School is almost over and then it's time to pack up the apartment. I can't wait for my first 'white' Christmas.
So I don't really write too much about events that have occurred, as I do not want this to be a diary of 'this is what I did today,' but whenever something pertains to reaching my photography goals, it deserves mentioning. So the other day I shadowed a Disney photographer, the ones that do weddings and conventions. It was very interesting and enlightening. I learned that I know more than I thought I knew, and that was very comforting knowing that I can be successful at this stage.
We were doing what was called a RUSH bridal shoot and we started off by picking up the bride and groom (Amy and Mark) from Disney's Wilderness Lodge. We then drove over to Magic Kingdom and took shots in front of the castle, behind the castle and a few other locations. The set up was fairly simple. Camera mounted on the tripod with on-camera flash and a stand that held another off-camera flash, as well, that slaved to the first one. There were also small daylight balanced video lights, the size of my palm, that I had never seen before, but helped throw lots of light on to the couple. Very convenient. Joe, the photog, realized that he had forgotten to stop by and pick up the bouquet, so he was forced to take the beginning shots with her posing her hands as if she were holding it, until it arrived. Then we traveled to Hollywood Studios and took photos in front of Tower of Terror, the hat, Star Tours, the Muppets fountain, the Chinese theater and a few other locations. All of the bridal shoots are done before park hours, so it was neat to be able to see the park without having to be working turnstiles.
We then returned to the office and since it was a RUSH, Joe began editing right away. He was unaware of how to place the bouquet into the bride's hands, so he called over Bob, the Photoshop guru. I told him that I knew how I would do it, but didn't know if it was the easiest or most efficient. He asked how I would do it and I told him I would lasso the bouquet, drag it over and erase to the background. He said that was exactly how it was done! It made me feel good that I knew something the photographer didn't know.
The coordinator Tonya then gave me a tour of the building. Disney is amazing. I know I say a lot about how horrendous it is, and yes, it can be, but there are parts that are just amazing, I will admit. In this building they do not only the photography, but graphic arts, audio and video, floral designs, celebration baskets and so much more. Just seeing so many creative people under one roof made me happy!
Well, today is Cinco de Mayo and my friends and I are having an epic party! Plus, Liz comes into town this evening and I am super excited for the next week! School is almost over and then it's time to pack up the apartment. I can't wait for my first 'white' Christmas.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Risk It.
All I want are for things to be simple.
No clutter. No drama. No chaos. Just SIMPLE.
I am counting down the (31) days until graduation and I'm excited about this one. I am trying to put aside the stress and take in as much as I can, because I know with me constantly living in the past, it will only be a matter of time before I wish that I was back at Daytona State College and in Florida. I anticipate the home sickness and am a little nervous for it. I have never lived more than an hour away from my parents and never been more than a few months without seeing them. I have a feeling that this will be difficult, but I welcome it with open arms, as this is something that I need to do. I have made the perfect transition, from high school graduation, to moving an hour away and now to moving out-of-state. As long as I am this close, I will continue to depend on their help (that I am extremely thankful for) and I need to learn to stand on my own two feet. It is time. I believe that I have come a long way from where I started, but I have a ways to go. I look forward to the challenge.
So a friend told me today that before she moved to New York she had cold feet for a year. Then she realized she needed to just do it and she got rid of most of her belongings, packed the car and moved there. I won't lie, I am nervous as hell. It's not that I don't think I can make it, it's just...well, I don't know what it is, really. Fear of the unknown. Fear of failure. But most of all, I think it's fear of success. For so long I've been okay with being mediocre and safe. It's time that I take a risk. Time to work to live and not live to work.
I cannot wait to explore the City with my camera. The City That Never Sleeps is so unique, unlike any other in the world. And yet completely the same. I'm excited for having an endless list of to-do's, but not the boring, mundane, I'm-only-doing-this-because-I-have-to ones. I'm excited to organize all my images, catalog them and eventually start a website. I'm excited to learn what type of photography I enjoy most and to hone in on the skills for that particular field. Photography is absolutely amazing. It is the same media with the ability to do things hundred of different ways.
So I'm nervous. Meh. I'll leave you with some quotes that I have found that have encouraged me. Hope they do the same for you.
"If you wait to do everything until you're sure it's right, you'll probably never do much of anything." -Win Borden
"A ship is safe in harbour. But that's not what ships are for." -William Shedd
"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." -Anais Nin
Okay, this one just struck me so super hard...
"Pitful is the person who is afraid of taking risks. Perhaps this person will never be disappointed or disillusioned; perhaps she won't suffer the way people do when they have a dream to follow. But when the person looks back-she will hear her heart." -Paolo Coelho
No clutter. No drama. No chaos. Just SIMPLE.
I am counting down the (31) days until graduation and I'm excited about this one. I am trying to put aside the stress and take in as much as I can, because I know with me constantly living in the past, it will only be a matter of time before I wish that I was back at Daytona State College and in Florida. I anticipate the home sickness and am a little nervous for it. I have never lived more than an hour away from my parents and never been more than a few months without seeing them. I have a feeling that this will be difficult, but I welcome it with open arms, as this is something that I need to do. I have made the perfect transition, from high school graduation, to moving an hour away and now to moving out-of-state. As long as I am this close, I will continue to depend on their help (that I am extremely thankful for) and I need to learn to stand on my own two feet. It is time. I believe that I have come a long way from where I started, but I have a ways to go. I look forward to the challenge.
So a friend told me today that before she moved to New York she had cold feet for a year. Then she realized she needed to just do it and she got rid of most of her belongings, packed the car and moved there. I won't lie, I am nervous as hell. It's not that I don't think I can make it, it's just...well, I don't know what it is, really. Fear of the unknown. Fear of failure. But most of all, I think it's fear of success. For so long I've been okay with being mediocre and safe. It's time that I take a risk. Time to work to live and not live to work.
I cannot wait to explore the City with my camera. The City That Never Sleeps is so unique, unlike any other in the world. And yet completely the same. I'm excited for having an endless list of to-do's, but not the boring, mundane, I'm-only-doing-this-because-I-have-to ones. I'm excited to organize all my images, catalog them and eventually start a website. I'm excited to learn what type of photography I enjoy most and to hone in on the skills for that particular field. Photography is absolutely amazing. It is the same media with the ability to do things hundred of different ways.
So I'm nervous. Meh. I'll leave you with some quotes that I have found that have encouraged me. Hope they do the same for you.
"If you wait to do everything until you're sure it's right, you'll probably never do much of anything." -Win Borden
"A ship is safe in harbour. But that's not what ships are for." -William Shedd
"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." -Anais Nin
Okay, this one just struck me so super hard...
"Pitful is the person who is afraid of taking risks. Perhaps this person will never be disappointed or disillusioned; perhaps she won't suffer the way people do when they have a dream to follow. But when the person looks back-she will hear her heart." -Paolo Coelho
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
My So-Called Random Thoughts
So much on my mind and no idea where to start...
Tomorrow could be the start of a new life for me. A chance to make that leap from job to career, a leap that many people never get to see, for one reason or another. And I'm nervous. I'm not sure why, as tomorrow I will only be assessing things and learning how things are done, not actually working myself. I just hope I say the right things. I hope that they continue to like me and ask me to come back. I need the money and to catch a so-called 'break', if you will. And I want to do things right. This is an opportunity that I did not have, or make available for myself, after UCF and all this time I have been scared that it won't happen. Or maybe, I've been afraid it will.
For so long in my life I have been okay with being mediocre, or perhaps just slightly above. I've been afraid to risk it and become something greater. I have a huge phobia of being laughed at and ridiculed for doing something wrong. It must stop.
On a completely different note (or maybe not so different), it has been over 15 months and this guy won't get out of my head. Is it because I can't do without him, or is because of this loneliness I feel? I have the greatest friends in the world and yet it's a struggle every night, wishing that I wasn't alone. He doesn't help the situation. I've tried being friends with him and all I want is to talk to him, because when we talk, there is hope that we will one day again be 'us.' I've tried not talking to him. That only leads me to constantly wondering how he is doing and then calling him to find out. My mind tells me the smartest thing to do is move on. But the strangest thing is that I don't want to move on. I want to continually fantasize about what our life could be like. Yea, maybe it's not healthy, but it's not an obsession, just what I think about some nights or when I'm driving, listening to those sappy love songs that I can't pry myself away from.
So there are my thoughts for tonight. I shall let you know soon how tomorrow went. Until then, peace and blessings, peace and blessings.
Tomorrow could be the start of a new life for me. A chance to make that leap from job to career, a leap that many people never get to see, for one reason or another. And I'm nervous. I'm not sure why, as tomorrow I will only be assessing things and learning how things are done, not actually working myself. I just hope I say the right things. I hope that they continue to like me and ask me to come back. I need the money and to catch a so-called 'break', if you will. And I want to do things right. This is an opportunity that I did not have, or make available for myself, after UCF and all this time I have been scared that it won't happen. Or maybe, I've been afraid it will.
For so long in my life I have been okay with being mediocre, or perhaps just slightly above. I've been afraid to risk it and become something greater. I have a huge phobia of being laughed at and ridiculed for doing something wrong. It must stop.
On a completely different note (or maybe not so different), it has been over 15 months and this guy won't get out of my head. Is it because I can't do without him, or is because of this loneliness I feel? I have the greatest friends in the world and yet it's a struggle every night, wishing that I wasn't alone. He doesn't help the situation. I've tried being friends with him and all I want is to talk to him, because when we talk, there is hope that we will one day again be 'us.' I've tried not talking to him. That only leads me to constantly wondering how he is doing and then calling him to find out. My mind tells me the smartest thing to do is move on. But the strangest thing is that I don't want to move on. I want to continually fantasize about what our life could be like. Yea, maybe it's not healthy, but it's not an obsession, just what I think about some nights or when I'm driving, listening to those sappy love songs that I can't pry myself away from.
So there are my thoughts for tonight. I shall let you know soon how tomorrow went. Until then, peace and blessings, peace and blessings.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Starting Over.
I become vulnerable in 3...2...1...
I don't know what to do. At this point in my life I don't ever want to even think about doing another school assignment. I don't want to work full-time at Disney anymore. I don't want to wake up with my day already planned out for me. I need days off. I need moments where work, school and YES, even photography, are not constantly on my mind. Only 45 days left until graduation. This has been an amazing year and a half, but I'm ready to be done. To move on. I feel trapped.
Trapped in this cage that consists of clocking in and clocking out, being to class on time or being locked out. I'm either stuck inside trying to get out or stuck outside trying to get in. Story of my life. I want a world where I can be free. Free to get up (some days) on my own accord, free to work when I feel like working (with the obvious realization that not all days will be like this), free to roam the streets and photograph, free to do my own work without someone telling me I should manipulate it, when all I want is for it to be the way I captured it. Just free. Free to not be in this cage. Free to be ME.
I need a change. A drastic one, but one that is worth it.
Ahh, this whole New York thing. I dream of New York and wake up thinking about it. I've only been there once. What if that one week in the City that never sleeps was not enough to completely realize if it's a place that I want to live? People love to be dream-killers and thanks to them, I now doubt a decision that was once so solid. But it's a decision that ultimately, only I can make. Do I have doubts? Yes. Am I scared? Yes. But am I determined? YES. I have never in my life made a decision to go for something and not followed through. At the very least I can say I tried it and it didn't work. But if I never try, I will be constantly reminded of what might have been...and it will remain only that, a dream.
I need to surround myself with positive thinkers and doers. For too long I have been in a negative state-of-mind and I'm over being that way. But when one does not have passion for what they do, and ESPECIALLY when they're not making money at it, a negative state-of-mind is inevitable.
I have been too safe for too long. It's time to step outside and take a risk. A big one. I need adventure. I need a road trip. To anywhere. With LOTS of photographing. I need to clear my mind. I feel as if I'm always behind and constantly trying to play catch-up, but it's all in vain.
I need to start over.
Okay, end of creepy rant. As you were.
I don't know what to do. At this point in my life I don't ever want to even think about doing another school assignment. I don't want to work full-time at Disney anymore. I don't want to wake up with my day already planned out for me. I need days off. I need moments where work, school and YES, even photography, are not constantly on my mind. Only 45 days left until graduation. This has been an amazing year and a half, but I'm ready to be done. To move on. I feel trapped.
Trapped in this cage that consists of clocking in and clocking out, being to class on time or being locked out. I'm either stuck inside trying to get out or stuck outside trying to get in. Story of my life. I want a world where I can be free. Free to get up (some days) on my own accord, free to work when I feel like working (with the obvious realization that not all days will be like this), free to roam the streets and photograph, free to do my own work without someone telling me I should manipulate it, when all I want is for it to be the way I captured it. Just free. Free to not be in this cage. Free to be ME.
I need a change. A drastic one, but one that is worth it.
Ahh, this whole New York thing. I dream of New York and wake up thinking about it. I've only been there once. What if that one week in the City that never sleeps was not enough to completely realize if it's a place that I want to live? People love to be dream-killers and thanks to them, I now doubt a decision that was once so solid. But it's a decision that ultimately, only I can make. Do I have doubts? Yes. Am I scared? Yes. But am I determined? YES. I have never in my life made a decision to go for something and not followed through. At the very least I can say I tried it and it didn't work. But if I never try, I will be constantly reminded of what might have been...and it will remain only that, a dream.
I need to surround myself with positive thinkers and doers. For too long I have been in a negative state-of-mind and I'm over being that way. But when one does not have passion for what they do, and ESPECIALLY when they're not making money at it, a negative state-of-mind is inevitable.
I have been too safe for too long. It's time to step outside and take a risk. A big one. I need adventure. I need a road trip. To anywhere. With LOTS of photographing. I need to clear my mind. I feel as if I'm always behind and constantly trying to play catch-up, but it's all in vain.
I need to start over.
Okay, end of creepy rant. As you were.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Wish I Knew Then...
No matter what events unfold, one thing is for sure. One chapter of my life is coming to an end and another is about to begin.
When I embarked on my first degree, I was so young. Straight out of high school I moved out of my parents' house, in with roommates I had never met before and began attending a four-year university with no sense of direction for my life or any idea of the knowledge that I now possess. I chose a major from an elective that I enjoyed in high school after my first semester, and without any research on the best college to attend for that field. I was never truly happy, only getting by. Four years came and went and after the hype of the graduation party and walking across the stage was over, real life began. I was unprepared.
Two years later I was stuck in a box office staring out a window almost every day of my life, making under $8/hr. and wondering what went wrong. I had a four-year degree from a successful university and here I was, wasting my life away. I had to do something.
I began writing things down. I made a list of all the things that made me happy and tried to find a new career that incorporated as many of those things as possible. Photography won by a landslide. Hello travel and an end to monotony!
This time I did my research. I narrowed it down to two schools, one in Tampa and one in Daytona Beach. The decision was not a hard one, as Daytona State College offered a place close to my hometown and a tuition that was amazing. I filled out a FAFSA and applied for student loans. I wanted to show my parents that I really wanted this and that I was responsible enough to get things done on my own.
It is now two years later and graduation is slowly creeping up on me. I have learned so much more this time around, both about photography and about myself. I've learned my strengths and my weaknesses and how to overcome being shy, or at least, how to work on it. I have no clue where I will go from here. My lease is up the last day of June and as of yet, I do not have a full-time position lined up anywhere, although there is a promising assistantship in the works. My dream is to live in the city that never sleeps, the gateway to America, the Big Apple, but only time will tell where my life will go from here. At least the one thing I can say this time, I'm ready.
When I embarked on my first degree, I was so young. Straight out of high school I moved out of my parents' house, in with roommates I had never met before and began attending a four-year university with no sense of direction for my life or any idea of the knowledge that I now possess. I chose a major from an elective that I enjoyed in high school after my first semester, and without any research on the best college to attend for that field. I was never truly happy, only getting by. Four years came and went and after the hype of the graduation party and walking across the stage was over, real life began. I was unprepared.
Two years later I was stuck in a box office staring out a window almost every day of my life, making under $8/hr. and wondering what went wrong. I had a four-year degree from a successful university and here I was, wasting my life away. I had to do something.
I began writing things down. I made a list of all the things that made me happy and tried to find a new career that incorporated as many of those things as possible. Photography won by a landslide. Hello travel and an end to monotony!
This time I did my research. I narrowed it down to two schools, one in Tampa and one in Daytona Beach. The decision was not a hard one, as Daytona State College offered a place close to my hometown and a tuition that was amazing. I filled out a FAFSA and applied for student loans. I wanted to show my parents that I really wanted this and that I was responsible enough to get things done on my own.
It is now two years later and graduation is slowly creeping up on me. I have learned so much more this time around, both about photography and about myself. I've learned my strengths and my weaknesses and how to overcome being shy, or at least, how to work on it. I have no clue where I will go from here. My lease is up the last day of June and as of yet, I do not have a full-time position lined up anywhere, although there is a promising assistantship in the works. My dream is to live in the city that never sleeps, the gateway to America, the Big Apple, but only time will tell where my life will go from here. At least the one thing I can say this time, I'm ready.
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